Name, Number or Blood

Name, Number or Blood

This Buffalo Tip goes out to wives, girlfriends and significant others.

Never throw out a man’s T-Shirt if it has a name, number or blood on it.
Those shirts should always be treated as though they were religious totems. They will call to the man in his darkest, laziest, fattest hour to get up off the couch.  A man sees that shirt in the closet and a deep rumbling stirs in his soul. The shirt whispers to him.

“Let’s go, let’s see what you’re made of, let’s test your grit. Let’s find one more rodeo. Get me off this hanger and on your back. Grab your shorts and jockstrap* and man up.”

Those shirts represent athletic struggles, pain, camaraderie and sometimes a shining moment of victory. The memories embedded in a torn jersey can make a man tear up.

NEVER throw out a torn jersey no matter how crowded the closet gets.
NEVER EVER cut them into rags for polishing the furniture.

Quilts, the hidden agenda.
If you want to turn those shirts into a quilt, you must first get written authorization. You are not allowed to sneak them out one at a time and pack them off to Aunt Martha and her quilting posse.

The permission must be given without duress. Don’t think we don’t know what you’re doing when you slip on that little black dress and high heels when asking us to give up something we cherish. It’s not fair.

Those sweat stained jerseys are icons, deserving of their own shrine whether folded, crumpled or hung.

If your wife, girlfriend or significant other is a closet nazi, tell that person, if they want to throw clothes out, they should start by tossing out those granny panties.

(*sorry, no one wears jockstraps anymore, today, men wear compression shorts)

Leave a Reply