If you want to lose weight, get a dog

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I run into people at the gym or on the street who want to know my secret to losing weight. I guess they figure I’ve probably lost a lot of stuff in my life and know how to lose things. To be fair, that’s a pretty fair assumption.

Everyone is different when it comes to losing weight and every health site is going to tell you the same old saw… take in fewer calories and work out more.

Well here’s my advice.

sad-dog

If you want to lose weight, get a dog.

Try to find a dog capable of making a very sad looking face. Labs and golden retrievers have been bred for this particular ability but most breeds  fall within acceptable limits.

There has been a lot written about how having a dog will encourage the owners to exercise more. Most articles list how the pet owners take their dogs for a walk and the walking forms a healthy habit.

That’s poppycock.

Buffalo Tip: Walking is not exercise.

The owner  strolls casually down the street while his mutt zig-zags a fiery gauntlet across yards terrorizing the neighborhood squirrels, cats, butterflies and tennis balls. The dog burns thousands of calories while the owner barely breaks a sweat.

The real key to pet owners losing weight comes from a dog’s two main interests.

#1. A dog always wants to be on the other side of the door.

There is no doubt in my mind that when early man domesticated wild dogs and brought them inside the cave, the first thing the dog wanted to do was go back out.

 

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Early man would have to get up from his bearskin rug by the fire and trudge over to the cave exit, roll back a huge boulder and let little fluffy out into the wilds, then roll the boulder back into position. As soon as the caveman returned to the fire’s edge and reclined on his bearskin barcalounger he would hear a tiny yip coming from outside the rock door. Fluffy wants back in. Moving rocks burns calories.

This revolving door activity is so genetically engineered into the mutt it will result in the owner expending lots of calories by repetitious door opening.

#2. Dogs want your food.

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They really, really want your food, especially when you are eating. The dog’s desire for your food is in direct proportion to how unwholesome the food is for you. A greasy cheeseburger, side of fries and a cold beer will send a dog into delirious drooling, where as a salad is a yawner for most canines.

A friend of mine is a vegan and just adopted a labradoodle which is what happened when a rambunctious labrador retriever met a poodle with low self esteem. The last thing a Labrador retriever wants to be is part poodle, but hey, that’s how it goes and they only have their dad to blame.

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Sometimes you get the short end of the stick but think of the poor mutt that has a heart of a labrador.  He looks in the mirror expecting to see a pure bred hunter ready to go after ducks in the freezing cold but instead looks like a sesame street character.

100_0206_Salisbury_boy_puppySesame Street Characters From Around The World Tommie 2

 

Could it get any worse? well your owner could be a vegan.

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That poor dog will probably be dragged off to doggie yoga classes as well.

Anyway, back to losing weight…

This is where a dog’s sad face comes into play. Before you shove the whole cheeseburger down your throat, look down at those sad eyes, summon up your will power, pull off a portion of the sandwich and watch the delight as Old Yeller gobbles down this epicurean treat.

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If you do this consistently, over the course of many years and many dogs, you will have literally reduced your burger intake by hundreds of pounds of burgers.

The food reduction and door opening exercise, should help in someway move you closer to your goal of a better and lighter you!

Thank You Dog

There are many wonderful and caring animal shelters needing your assistance. South Lake Animal League is a no kill animal shelter in the Orlando – Clermont area. If you are considering adopting a dog or would like to make a donation, please visit the site below.

www.slal.org.

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I’m waiting,,, woof… to help you lose weight! Even if you’re a vegan.

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